learn to listen

sometimes all we need to do is just listen.
usually that's how we learn.

when we were young that's what we did in school.
when we are in a relationship.
with friends and family.

when someone starts sharing, they are not asking for solutions.
they are asking for a hearing heart.

when someone opens up, they are not asking for judgments.
they are asking for company.

even when you feel that your situation, your challenge, your problem
is bigger and more traumatic than theirs,
it doesn't mean that theirs is not real to them.

we need to learn to listen.
without judgment,
without solutions,
without complains.

to listen with a hearing heart.
an open mind.
a willing spirit.

we need to learn to listen.
i'm still learning.

i hate...

i hate it when people are late.
when food is cold.
or even when its my fault that i miss the bus.

i hate it when i don't see result.
when people get impatient.
especially when others tell me what to do.

i hate it when i miss the beginning of a movie.
when children run around in circles in front of me.
getting stuck in traffic on my way to the airport.

i hate it that i don't have savings.
when credit is long overdue.
and help is unappreciated.

i hate it when i screw up someone's day when i've had a bad 5mins.
i hate it when i take people for granted.
i hate it when i make u sad.

Sex In AnOther City

Sex And The City 2.
what can i say...

i actually liked it.
maybe i'm just a simple guy who enjoys watching 4 girls from new york, growing up and moving on.

but seriously, its more than that.
carrie. charlotte. miranda. samantha. new york city.
we do love them all.
the cosmopolitans. the fashion. the sex.

ok, fine!
so SATC 2 was not centered around NYC.
there were a few misses in the wardrobe department.
no cosmopolitans. and very little sex.
still it was the girls who held the story for me.

carrie's need to a fairy tale marriage.
samantha's obsession of staying young & horny, forever.
charlotte's breakdown.
miranda's... you get the picture!??!!

but there were moments i wish i could live in real life.
like, having a sip of cocktail before spitting out how you feel.
taking a break from the world. taking charge of your own world.
walking the red carpet. and a personal butler.

wait! i am living that life already. expect for the personal butler part.
anywho... its a movie. a hollywood movie.
where we can escape to and wish it was
our lives we were watching up on the screen.
so why not?
let's enjoy what the girls give us in 2 hours
that we spend our entire adult lives wishing for.

there is a bit of us in Sex And The City &
a lot of Sex And The City in all of us.
or any other city for that matter.

when i grow up...

i remember when i was about 4, i wanted to run away
and join the chinese opera troupe.
i'd sneak out at night when everyone was asleep
and watch the performers do their thing on stage.
all the loud music and singing.
dramatic costumes.
the flying around and sword fighting!
it was the best!

then at 9, i wanted to be a musician.
my dad was in the police band unit when he was younger.
seeing pictures of him in uniform and
playing the clarinet was inspiring.
so i tried out for my school band.
all i remember is that i spoiled the trumpet
and the school had to buy a new one.

when i was 12, i wanted to be a doctor.
two of my aunts were nurses.
and red was (and still is) my favorite color.
it was simple.

at 16, i discovered fashion.
couldn't draw a stick man to save my life,
but designing was what i wanted to do.
of course i had no skill or talent to be a designer
but that didn't stop me.
got myself a sketch book and started designing away!
i even had a collection named after my aunts.

along the way, i wanted to be a model, yes... a model.
a professional dancer. singer. actor.
trust me, the list goes on.

guess we all know where all of that led to.
the fabulous world of FASHION & ENTERTAINMENT!
i have to admit, i have done a fair bit so far.
and i know i still have a long way to go.

do you remember what you wanted to be when you were growing up?
the pussycat dolls did.

Ask Marcus!

my new venture,
Ask Marcus!

the internet has everything!?!!
you can watch movies, learn to cook, buy & sell your friends, read a book, visit countries, repair your iPhone, share music, listen to sermons, play games and even make a new family!
seriously!
so with all the time in the world i had,
i decided to be productive. online.
and why not?
i spend about 5 to 8 hours a day online anyway...

so what did i do to be productive?

i decided to give back.
much like Idol Gives Back, American Idol style.
no!
there are no numbers to call to save lives in africa or america.
no song and dance items to inspire you to be a better human being.
just giving back because i want to.

i created a new page on facebook called Ask Marcus!
"An all new interactive page where all your queries on Fashion & Beauty are answered!
Ask Marcus! Your Personal Fashion Fix!"
a page truly dedicated to everyone out there where you can post
questions and queries, share or discuss, puke & post pictures,
all in the name of Fashion & Beauty!
you don't even have to be a friend or fan.
a page where you can just be yourself.

together we CAN make this world a better looking place.
so start now.
Ask Marcus!

thankful.

things are not right in the world right now.
well, most things are not.

there are bombings going on randomly all around the world.
children are dying from mosquito bites.
property prices are so high that housing has become a problem.
there's a clash of colors in thailand.
and the list goes on and on.

do any of these affect me? or you?
frankly. no.

so what's my point?
honestly, i don't know.
all i know is that i am thankful.

thankful for peace.
thankful for rest.
thankful for love.
thankful for health.
thankful for blessings.
thankful for my family. my mom.

thankful for Jesus.

twitter.com/marcus_ac

it started with setting up a blog.
of course for the first month all my entries were
done from my friend's computer.
so i decided to get myself a note book, the HP Mini.
and getting that was such an adventure!
following that i started on Facebook.
who knew how many people wanted me as their friends too!
i know, right!
then it was setting up a profile on Alive Not Dead,
an artist/friends/fans site.
after almost 6 months, i finally became an Official Artist on A.N.D.
next was setting up www.marcusac.com.sg
a website for Style Etc By Marcus AC, my very own company,
where you can see what i do for a living.
well its taking a while but its coming along. very slowly.
Oh! my iPhone!
best thing i ever got.
Emails, Phone, GPRS, Camera, Apps, iPod, SG Mahjong & more!
i love my iPhone.
now, its TWITTER.
OMG.
its global sms on the go!
to Tweet whatever i want, whenever i!
fashion, gossip, food, agenda, friends or even idiots!
i can Tweet about anything!
and its so fun!
the whole followers & following is amazing!
i get to follow my good friends and people like
Ryan Seacrest, Oprah & Barack Obama
and read what they have to say and share!
seriously, that is the power of communication.

finally, the world now gets to hear my voice!

tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet
tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet
tweet tweet tweet...

Amen.

all my life i have only been interested in very few things.
food. clothes. music. holidays. family. money. the usual.

and frankly i couldn't be more blessed, favored and bless by God.

i live for food, so i'm always hungry!
i like clothes, so its ok that i'm constantly bitching about bad fashion!
i enjoy music, so its fantastic that i'm into LIMEWIRE!
i treasure holidays, so i see myself as a tourist even in singapore!
i love my family, so its prefect that i don't live with them!
i appreciate money, so.... wait. that's it.
i appreciate money.

Amen.

commonwealth

i live in commonwealth.
a 3-room unit.
some call it an apartment but its really a HDB flat.
in a HDB estate.
near the bus-stop, kopi-tiam, pasar, seng siong & some more.

its actually a stone throw away from holland V.
just a 10mins walk where there's a 24hrs cold-storage, haagen dazs, dry cleaners, cafes, taxi stand, money changers, restaurants, banks and a lot more.

i live in commonwealth.
what i like about living here is that there's a tailor/seamstress/alteration uncle just next to the market.
do you know how hard it is to get a good tailor/ seamstress/ alteration uncle?
ever?!
so imagine finding one at your doorstep?!!
this guy is quick. skillful. meticulous.
he's good. very very good.
he's also more talented than i suspected.
just found out that he's into the stocks & shares investment broking thingy!
he's got a laptop in his tiny workshop, all set up and everything.
didn't think you could do more than just watch youtube on them laptops.
i'm impressed.

and he has an attitude too.
it suits him.
he is in fashion after all.

maybe its just me.
commonwealth is an old estate.
i mean, there are ALL OLD PEOPLE LIVING HERE!
and cats.
then again they do say that that's where you find treasure.
or is it antiques?
well, i hope to find more treasures here.
just have to remember not to piss them off while digging.

so far so good

isn't it funny that when you can't sleep all you think about is sleep.

its the same with food too.
when you're stuffed, all you have on your mind is that you
shouldn't have eaten too much.

how about the morning after clubbing?
the massive hangover and stinking of alcohol!

thankfully, i sleep only when i want to.
i gym so i eat.
& i haven't had a drop of alcohol in months!

so far so good.
its the damn mood swings i can't handle!

ice ice baby!

Daily Scoops. Udders. Island Creamery.

if you are wondering what these are, well they are ice-cream parlors.
and they sprouting all over the island.

when i was a kid... not too long ago,
having an ice-cream was really a treat. a well deserved dessert.
whether its buying a cone from the ice-cream uncle in your
kampong neighborhood or the corner provision shop.
then came fast food joints.
from Mc Donald's, Burger King or even the now cannot be found anywhere, A&W.
sundaes. shakes. floats.
i don't know about you, but i could never get enough of ice-cream desserts!

of course there is Swenson's, Haagen Dazs, Rocky Mountain 'whatever' & a million others,
but they don't have flavours like Chendol, D24 Durian,
Kopi C, Tiger Beer, Gila Malacca etc!
and these are local businesses. and they know the locals oh so well.
maybe that's why they make so damn good ice ice baby!

a girlfriend said, if you can find an ice-cream parlor, you can find marcus.
Mm... think she's right!

*wink wink

remember your passport

i totally forgot my passport this weekend.

took a train to jurong piont and discovered that
everyone there were either malaysians or chinese nationals!
and this was in the lost city of boon lay!

this place was packed!
exits from the train station was in one direction to control the crowd.
the bus interchange was inside the mall. air-coned.
no high end boutiques.
but everyone were carrying bags from the shopping they did.

from haagen dazs to lai lai casual dining,
john little to tokyo town shop,
2nd hand video shop to golden village cinema!
its all,well almost, HERE!

jurong point is huge.
and they are busier than ION, 313 and Orchard Central
all put together in any one weekend!

just remember your passport.
cos i definitely felt like a tourist there,
and that's a good feeling.

tiger woods. jack neo. jesse james.

tiger woods. jack neo. jesse james.
men who sleep with other women.

why is the main question.
answer is the one thing they don't have.

sorry is what they say.
caught is what happened.

hurt is what they've caused.
remorse is what they feel.

sad is what i think.
glad i'm not married.

tiger woods. jack neo. jesse james.
the list can go on and on and on and on...

get married?

what's it like wanting to get married?

a friend of mine who works at TANGS told me today
that her mom thinks its time for her to start dating guys
who are potentially the marriageable type.
to my surprise, she thinks her mom is right!

did i mention that my friend is only 25.
so why the rush?

here's what i came up with.
25. meet a guy this weekend.
hang out for 1 nite.
date for 6months.
see is he husband material.
date another 6 months.
wait for to proposal.
wait another 1 year.
the proposal is popped.
the engagement.
apply for house. wait another 3 years.
a 3 year headstart to plan the wedding.
guestlist. wedding gown. honeymoon. suit. ang pow.
bridal car. restaurant or hotel. sisters. in-laws. panadol.

by now she's at least 31.
there's still the newly married life first.
so that is another 3 to 5 years before the baby comes.

yah.
so maybe her mom is right.
or maybe she should have started wanting to get married at 14,
like most malay girls.

how do i say this...

how hard is it have basic courtesy and be polite?
apparently its hard.
and from where i see, its just too much effort.

i am BIG on taking public transport.
MRT. Bus. Taxi. and the Lift.
its also because i don't have a driving license.
and, i am a people person.
i know, its hard to believe,
BUT I AM!

so imagine my surprise when the people i transit with are,
how do i say this...
STUPID.

there are people always standing at the doors of the train
staring at you when you are trying to get in.
i have to wriggle my way thru the crowd just to find a spot and
then be showered by the super stench of body odor!
notice how people sitting down are always asleep
whenever there are old grandmothers, women with toddlers
or aunties carrying 200 bags enter the train?!
how about the young lovey dovey couple who look like they are joined at the waist,
moving an inch would result in doctors rushing in to save their lives due to the blood lost!

its the same love story in buses.
passengers love the driver so much its like watching Jack & Rose hold on to each other as the Titanic sinks.
have you ever tried getting these people to move to the rear?
please!
you'd have a better chance of reviving Jack who's drowned by now.

i live on the 6th floor and i take the lift all the time.
sometimes i am alone.
other times my neighbors take them too.
but most of the time no one ever holds the button.
how difficult is it to hold the lift doors when neighbors are rushing in?
so, i have learned to speak my mind.
i say things like...
" Oh! must have been a long day.
it can be tiring to hold the button..."
" broken nail?..."
" they probably don't have lifts in Philippines..."

Mm... maybe i'm not much of a people person.

clean and green singapore

ever wondered why the streets and pavements are always so clean?

today was truly one of those days.
where people thought i was speaking french.
fyi, i don't speak french.
where customer service officers are out for lunch during lunch hour.
Mm... its a bank.
where you are caught for throwing your cigarette butt on the floor.
ya.

and so i explained to the plain clothe officers that i was actually on my phone,
engrossed in a super heated conversation
with the people from the bank who
only understood french,
i did not realize what i had done.
i confessed that i was not making up excuses for my action
but in fact picked up the butt and dropped in the bin.

and they were nice enough to let me off.
AMEN!

so now i know why its always clean and green in singapore.
its just damn too expensive to litter!

& i thank GOD for it, seriously.

say my name say my name

mohanavelu s/o sathasivam
that's my name.
named by my dad when i was born.
it means beautiful spear in tamil.
i am indian, you know.
my dad is indian and my mom's half indian & half vietnamese.
that kinds of explain why i look like how i look.
exotic. eurasian. tall, dark, handsome. suave.
HEY! don't be rude!
its what people call me.
of course there are others who would describe me as...
malay mix. short, too dark for chinese, so-so looking.
and recently, phinoy. yah.
these names i don't like.
i am indian.

so where did marcus come from?
well, my dad's father was catholic.
so he named all his 11 children with catholic/english names.
there was thomas, joseph, mark etc.
and i was named mark, after my uncle mark.
so far so good.
then, my uncle mark died.
drowning accident.
i was 4 or 5, i think.
and i really traumatized by it.
imagine, you are named after a relative, then he dies.
i seriously thought i was next!
i can still remember when i was growing up,
my parents were super protective whenever we went to the beach.
i wasn't allowed to go any deeper than knee level into the water.
all this was way too much for a growing kid.
i didn't want to be mark.
i wanted to be called anything but mark!

so when i finally got to secondary school,
i changed my name.
its not in my ID or anything but still it meant something to me.
i called myself marcus.
and its more me. its actually very me.
Marcus.

then my brother decided to be creative.
you see, like my dad's siblings, we all got catholic/ english names too.
david. margret and victoria.
and mark.
my brother now wanted to go by David Peter Charles, the 1st.
peter charles is my dad's catholic name.
i know. its long and corny. so trying.
& i definitely didn't want to be out done by my brother, know what i mean?
but marcus charles wasn't... how do you say it... Mm... BOOMZ enough.
i needed a middle name but not peter, don't get me wrong!
i love my dad but if peter was my middle name, then i would also be... the 2nd.
so i created my middle name.
it has no meaning whatsoever!
its just a middle name.
and i love how it sounds.
just a made up middle name.
Ardensis.

Marcus Ardensis Charles.
that's my name. it's not my catholic name, since i'm not catholic.
its my english name.
since then it has been Marcos Charles, Marcus A. Charles, Marcus Act Cute,
Marcus Air-Con Charles, M.A.C. ,Marcus Dentist Chow, Marcus A.C. etc
stupid people who can't pronounce or speak english to save their lives.

BTW, its now official.
i have registered my english name in my ID, finally!
so please get it right.

MARCUS ARDENSIS CHARLES
alias MOHANAVELU S/O SATHASIVAM

and i am christian. not catholic.
indian. not malay mix. not phinoy. thank you.

peace and rest and smile

a friend's father crashed his car.

a cute couple i know just called it off.
i didn't ask for details.
all i know is that it wasn't easy and they need to move on.

a friend has been sick for 4 days.
flu.
kinda sucks since he's actually on leave the entire time.

another is trying to figure out iTunes.

and i am free.
just checking my emails,
chatting on Facebook and blogging.

and yet with all that's happening around me,
with my friends and all,
there's peace.
peace in our lives.
and with peace comes rest.

i know the couple will eventually get over the breakup.
its gonna be really tough and hard at first but it will happen.
they will smile and be happy.

for the time being my friend's father will get some exercise but
the car has insurance so that will sort itself out.

my sick friend will gain his strength & be stronger when he's all well.
i know he will.

and iTunes is really not rocket science!

so... smile ppl.

annoying people

its funny how my life has changed in the recent months.
never did i imagine that i would become tech savy,
and i hate to admit it but i have.

the latest addition to my tech life is my new phone.
the iPhone 3Gs.
a gadget with almost everything you would need and maybe some more to help improve your life.

at first i was really against getting one.
everyone has one.
it was kinda annoying.
everywhere you turned or looked, someone was using it.
be it for music, games, weather updates, workout routines, stock-market reports, movie reviews, tweeting, facebook entries, emails or for just making calls.
its everywhere!
so i said why not?
maybe i'll have fun with it too.
and i did! and i do!

its amazing!
i got myself a 32Gig.
took me like 2 weeks before i started downloading applications. games mainly.
then the fun really started.
i discovered iTunes!
O.M.G.!!!
the amount of music you can download to your iTunes is unbelievable!
in 3 days i have 128 tracks in my iTunes!
and its all now on my iPhone!
& i listen to it all the time.
sometimes with the headphones and at other times without.
now, i have become one of the annoying people i see with their iPhones!
and i don't care!

Mm... what should i get next?

give thanks be thankful

i was invited to a dinner party over the weekend and
was kinda hesitant to go.
as you know, i am not the sociable type.
but since i was free, i went.

to my surprise it was really a very small dinner party.
with only about 9 guests attending,
i didn't think i'd be out of place and boy was i wrong!

you see, my hosts were both lawyers.
and they, of course, invited their lawyer friends.
but thankfully not all lawyers.
there was 1 university lecturer.
ya.
and me.

then i met Rudy.
successful. established. celebrity. lawyer. loud and funny.
this guy knew everybody.
and if he didn't, well he made a point to.
frankly, he was the life of the party.
sharing his antics and hilarious stories,
Rudy definitely knew how to entertain.
or maybe he was just drunk.
well, whatever it was, he spoke his mind.
no mincing of words or sentences, Rudy said it has it is.
and what i first impression he made.

people tend to want to leave an impressive impression when they meet others.
when what they should leave is what others can take from them.

when i left that night, i took with me the knowledge that we all can make a difference.
be it lawyers, a university lecturer or me.
that we must be thankful and give thanks in life for our lives.